John Stevenson @CyclingJourno@toot.bike
Freelance cycling journalist, grumpy Northerner, dog tragic, green leftie
Joined Nov 2022
John Stevenson
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John Stevenson
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John Stevenson
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Stop getting Brexit wrong, Labour’s born-again Brexiteer Starmer tells Tories
#FuckLabour, taking a stance that's flying against public opinion so they can appease right wing Tory voters who think immigrants are the cause of all the country's ills.
they/it
John Stevenson
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@CyclingJourno sadly, so do many others. The time of a decent left leaning socialist party for the masses is gone. We have unbridled capitalism and Thatcher to thank for that.
John Stevenson
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"[Daily] Express readers deserve their politicians to be clear about where they stand. So let me spell it out simply. Britain's future is outside the #EU.
* not in the single market,
* not in the customs union,
* not with a return to freedom of movement,
writes Sir Keir Starmer."
31/5/23
#VoteLabourGetTory
#BrexitLabour
#YouYesYet?
#ScottishIndependence
Every time Keith Starmer (or pretty much anyone else in #Labour) opens his mouth I breathe a huge sigh of relief that the anti-Tory vote most likely to succeed round here is for the Lib-Dems.
John Stevenson
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When you walk into the ladies’ room and discover that your hotel is part of the Hilbert franchise
John Stevenson
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SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym for...
Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
USB-C is all very well but I can't be the only one who misses having to recite incantations in Old Enochian to keep a SCSI chain working
John Stevenson
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When I look up at Mars, shining brightly in the night sky, I find myself filled with hope that one day I will be able to point and say "See? That's where all the billionaires died."
John Stevenson
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I am currently drinking my 5th cup of tea of the morning.
Some time around 2am last night, our current #housesitting overlord #dog Aka the hairy potato-who-only-turns-right decided he was going to have a dream.
It was an epic dream. That we are positive included chasing woolly mammoths over ancient steppes and getting a good nibble on their hind parts before triumphantly woofing, barking and generally telling all the other proto-potatoes that he was the mightiest potato in the world.
How do we know this? Because we were woken by a 20 minute performance that involved a small brick-shaped dog laying on his back, his little legs running in the air as he emitted continuous tiny woop woop noises before howling majestically.
20 minutes. We tried to wake him up but he wasn't having it. That mammoth was going to be caught and he was going to eat it.
He is not a beastie that normally makes noise. Usually relying on long mind-control stares and the odd huff, long groan or sigh to express emotion. But last night we discovered what we now believe to be the source of all his eccentricity.
He's really a reincarnated sabre toothed potato, which undoubtedly only turned right and smelled alluringly horrendous for all the other potatoes on the plains. After spending 3 weeks in this dog's company, it honestly is the only rational explanation.
The saga continues.
John Stevenson
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any mf who honestly thinks that uploading your mind into a computer will let you live forever has never had to restore a file from 12 years ago in a format that doesn't exist anymore
John Stevenson
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@onthisday I grew up in Leeds and lived five miles from Elland Road. You could hear this concert from my street!
John Stevenson
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Humans!
Please don't send us any more unsolicited nude pics with instructions on how to get to your house.
It's creepy.
Sincerely,
The Aliens.
John Stevenson
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Dear Richard Littlejohn, is it really true that everyone who disagrees with you is part of a vast conspiracy of civil servants, woke media and arts, lefty lawyers, doctors, nurses, rail workers, postal workers, and millions of others? Or does everyone just think you're a cunt?
John Stevenson
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Heads up 99%.
Whenever someone from a think tank talks about “the economy”, mentally insert the words “rich people’s yacht money” into the sentence.
We can’t provide free healthcare, because it might harm rich people’s yacht money.
Nurses are going to have to feed themselves from food banks in order to protect rich people’s yacht money.
We’ve decided to let kids work in slaughter houses to help boost rich people’s yacht money.
It works every time. Give it a try.
John Stevenson
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@AmberHieb Flash the husky gives us a similar look if we stop to chat with other people & dogs at the dog park, accompanied by vocalisations encouraging us to get moving.
Freelance cycling journalist, grumpy Northerner, dog tragic, green leftie
Joined Nov 2022
